Saturday, November 20, 2010

My Papa…


He lies there under mounds of earth
In a deep, dark, cocoon,
Where no wind blows, no sun shines
The colour of his sky will always be muddy brown
Never a cobalt blue, or a sky blue, or any shade of blue.
Pitch dark.
Cold earth.
He is dead.
They have put him there,
Inside a coffin, wrapped in a shroud
And have walked away,
The mourners
Cupping their palms over their eyes.
Weeping silently, for a life lived majestically.
Time would heal the pain of separation,
Maybe.
Maybe not.
But he will lie there for centuries…
Amidst the sad empty fields.
The distant wind will tear from the trees,
The last of the leaves.
And rip the earth’s skin to shreds
But he will be unmoved
In his regal repose.
And through my soul centuries would pass,
Like a harsh snow eddying and streaming.
And memory’s many subdivisions.
Will dress off their ranks in a glacial spell.
Frost upon frost,
Upon frost.
And…for me,
There is no forgetting, no forgetting.

14 comments:

Marion Williams-Bennett said...

Dearest Nazia - Wishing you peace right now. Healing is a journey. Take each day as it comes to you. Peace to you.

Nazia Mallick said...

Thank you very much , Marion.

These kind words will stay with me throughout.

aamir said...

He smiles at us from his eternal abode, now holding hands with his dearest friend, partner and soul-mate who waited for him all these years like a restless bird waiting for its other half to come home... The two together will smile forever to see their children look up at the skies and watch them shine the brightest in the dead of night, being always the guiding stars to all us wandering barks.

Saima said...

Dear Aapa!
May Allah bless your papa's soul. The loss is grave but it's the rule of the world. My prayers for your and family's peace!

Allah bless you!

Basque-Land said...

I too wish healing for you from the "tearing". I was very close to my Papi who died 2 years ago. I miss him and cry often but I listen very closely for his connection spiritually and I am comforted. Peace and love.

Nazia Mallick said...

Thank you Aamir.
But how I miss him!

As W.H Auden said:
"He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods;
For nothing now can ever come to any good."

May God give us all strength to bear this pain.Love to you.

Nazia Mallick said...

Saima, thanks a lot dear.

Nazia Mallick said...

Thank you Rozanna!

I agree with the "spiritual connection." I feel my father's presence all the more deeply now. His fragrance. He always wore the best of fragrance and he has left it behind in our memories.
Thanks!

awyn said...

Nazia my friend across the seas. I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your father. The pain of separation will eventually be healed -- by all the rememberings. "I will never forget" holding hands with "I will always remember". May he--and you--both be at peace.

Nazia Mallick said...

Dear Annie

Thank you very much for reaching out in such a wonderful way , once again.

Thank you for your healing words!

Tanzila said...

and hence we are gifted with dreams and memories which make sure that no matter how grey life becomes, people always remain technicolor and whether they are in our proximity or not, these wonderful tools of the human mind summon them immediately.

these words may not be enough, they never are, and they probably are a little belated... but i wish for tranquility for you...

hugs

Nazia Mallick said...

Thank You Tanzila

Hugs are never "belated"

Thanks for reaching out...

Aleksandra said...

Hi dear Nazia,just want you to know you are in my thoughts,warm hugs for you and I found a poem I wanted to share with you,take care darling!
Aleksandra

"All Is Well
Death is nothing at all,
I have only slipped into the next room
I am I and you are you
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.
Call me by my old familiar name,
Speak to me in the easy way which you always used
Put no difference in your tone,
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household world that it always was,
Let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It it the same as it ever was, there is unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near,
Just around the corner.
All is well."
Henry Scott Holland
1847-1918

Nazia Mallick said...

Thank you dear Aleksandra...

These words of yours have touched me so deeply.
I am amazed at the power of love,which often surmounts miles and miles of distance.

Thanks for the calming poem.

A very warm, tight hug!